Ohhh the devastation and despair to have a Sunday afternoon beach outing ruined by high tide and overcast skies.

Some Triathlon. Some Divorce.

Sorry haven't bored yall with a giant diatribe in the past week but I've lacked the motivation mostly because I have so much to say and I'm afraid once I get going I'll never stop.....especially on some of my comments on "The Big D".

St. Augustine - Family Fitness Weekend
Race was pretty much par for the course for the Family Fitness Weekend Series this is the third race of theirs I've participated in and they're always well organized and well put together. This race turned out to be much closer to my house than I had originally thought.

Friday night I knew I would be tired Saturday and either dog the workout or drop it all together so I decided to go ahead and take my chances on doing the P90X legs and back workout KNOWING that this workout tends to be particularly taxing on my calves. Even though I would be racing Saturday. I figured eh I'll know as soon as I hit the water whether or not they'll give me problems.

Race day Had a mediocre swim I really need to make a commitment to make this better but I've only been doing 2 swims a week and really slacking in the workouts again just to keep my base with no concentration on speed in any way shape or form. 23 minutes on a half mile and probably my worst swim time to date. No cramps.

Transitioning to the bike I was fine I leave my shoes on the bike and put them on whilst moving soon as I pointed that toe to put it in the shoe.... CRAMP ... big one in my calf you know like that kind where your toes lock up and there is absolutely no relief. Almost crashed. I couldn't get my foot in that shoe fast enough to stretch that calf out. Once I got them flexed the cramps left and I had a pretty decent bike averaged about 23.5+ over 13 miles.

Transitioning to the run same thing bad cramps in both calves stopped to stretch them a few times just could not seem to get it worked out. No biggie. 22:35 on the 5k nice beach run.

My favorite part of the day?!..... Hot Dogs.... Ball Park, I think, I know people always crack jokes about 'oh do an hour and a half or so of exercise burn a thousand calories then eat 3,000' I don't care hot dogs are one of those things I never ever purchase or keep in the house but if someone is serving them up I'm there.

The Big D

Disclaimer: This is not relevant to triathlon I warn ya because this is a triathlon blog however this is something I wanted to write down. Since triathletes are people too perhaps some of them have experienced divorce and may benefit from something I have to say...

I was trying to think this weekend if Maddie has ever missed one of my races before all of this divorce non-sense started and to my recollection she's been to every single one .... until this year. This year she has not been to a single one. Mostly because of bad timing but that is beside the point. My child and I are both being deprived these little moments because of the senseless actions of another who best I can tell still can not take personal responsibility for destroying the family I wanted so much for my child to have. To her she still believes she's done the right thing. For her. Despite this mockery she has made, marriage is not disposable, and I get so frustrated when people chastise me for being bitter and angry about it.

I went through a phase for almost two months where I was numb to the world where I was constantly looking inward and to the things I must have done wrong to cause all of this. Then I felt irrationally bitter and angry then one day I realized I did nothing to deserve this and the only thing this has to do with me is my choice in spouses. Knowing there are certainly things I could have done different. I certainly made big mistakes in our marriage for which I have taken responsibility and made correction to the best of my ability through Christ who strengthens me. However the one primarily responsible for this end is her..... and despite her laundry list of justifications to make this whole thing right in her head, and trust me she has a lot, none could possibly make what she has done 'okay'. I often wonder if on the day we were married she wasn't already thinking in the back of her mind ... eh nothing is forever when I get bored I can just leave.

I had a great conversation with a very close friend this weekend (stinkin hippie) and they made a great point to me .... this doesn't ever have to be "right" or "okay". I don't have to look back and say 'oh that was just a phase and its good that this happened' while I trust in the Lord to lead me towards his will I don't ever have to say that this is what's best for Madeleine and I know this because it never happened in the Bible. If God wanted people divorced because having separate homes is better for children surely that would have appeared in his word .... I checked. It doesn't. I have full confidence this was not some sort of divine oversight on God's part.

One of the books the secular world lauds for dealing with children and two homes, 'Mom's House - Dad's House', found its way into my home. Not out of my pocket. I refused to read it knowing basically the gist of its content. While doing some house cleaning this weekend I came across it and thought 'that thing is going in the garbage'. On my way to the trash I take a quick flip through it and on page 17 of probably 300 what do I find ... "12 Myths About Divorce" which would have been more appropriately named "12 Justifications for Divorce". This book is not about children this book is about making a person who is destroying a home feel all warm and fuzzy about it. You're reading the wrong book. And if you don't believe me you can ask Maddie she's got a little song she knows "The B-I-B-L-E yes thats the book for me..." Needless to say that's as far as I got ..... trash.

All of this has really pushed me into my studies of God's word and brought me closer to him but so many times I just want to scream "Why?!" And I know as a Christian we are almost expected to live beyond reproach. People will judge by my actions and my emotional anger and use any imperfections to say 'hypocrite' ..... all I can say is man is fallible. That means me too! And if you're looking for perfection turn to Christ because you won't find it here.

You see why I haven't taken the time to write? I've got so much emotion and so much to say and brevity is not my forte.

Check it out I did my first pony tail today. This aint easy either this girls got curls! :)

101-pound man eats 6,500 calories a day - Diet

Ohh to have this guy's problems.

101-pound man eats 6,500 calories a day - Diet

Sugar Busters! My poor grandmother she wouldn't stop feeding me cheese cake so she had to go!

Escape Fort De Soto - What a beautiful place!

I know I should have written this yesterday but yesterday was the last day my grandparents were here so today is the day.

I've always heard that the races at Ft. De Soto are popular and I can tell you why....the place is beautiful. I never really understood the geography of these little chain islands or who actually claims them so I'm guessing this is south-west of St. Petersburg/Tampa but not part of them. (If that's wrong correct me) We stayed the night at a Ramada Inn in St. Pete about 15 miles away. Sleeping in a hotel with your grandparents is fine until your grandmother kicks in sawing logs thankfully she didn't actually wake me up with all the ruckus until 4-4:30 am so I got a few hours in.

Breakfast - Its rare I mention a prerace breakfast because my pre-race breakfast is typically a Zone bar but the folks wanted to hit the Denny's across the street from the hotel so I figured Id give it a whirl ate a veggie-omelet with egg beaters and english muffin. I figure almost 3 hours before the event it'll digest.

Pre Race - I love staying so close to a race site... no rushing around plenty of time to relax and get everything in order do some light stretching and even take a few shots of the sunrise. I'm one of those people that can't stand to be late and/or disorganized because I never settle in and the whole day feels chaotic so I love to give myself plenty of time. Unfortunately to get this time you gotta spend money for a hotel and that's the hard part. Anyone that knows me will tell you I'm, to be polite, frugal. All right I'm a cheap skate. I got better things to spend my money on than a one night stand for triathlon :)

Swim - My first salt water swim of the year pretty uneventful didn't take long to remember how much the taste of salt water can make you sick to your stomach ...I still treat the swim as a means to an end in terms of race strategy could obviously be faster but I just don't give it that much weight in terms of overall training...18 minutes on a half mile ..... good enough. 15th of 36 in AG and roughly 4 minutes off Top 4 places in AG.

Bike - Went well I found a few times I thought I was pushing too hard so would ease up to save for the run. Had a hard time avoiding drafting when you put 700+ people on a 10 mile course drafting is extremely hard to avoid I feel bad for anyone assessed a penalty for it .... seems unfair really especially when you have people with inconsistent speeds one minute they're blowing by you the next you're blowing by them then you're in that mode of do I pass this guy/girl again or do I just give them the three bike lengths so I don't have to give 3 minutes for the draft constantly jockeying for position.

Run - I knew from the minute I left transition something wasn't right I felt bloated and sloggish. There are a few factors to why this is ...#1. My grandmothers home cooked meals. #2. That breakfast I normally wouldn't have had. #3. Started my first creatine cycle on Friday and its got a front load. So I've been doing 1 serving 4 times a day which ends up being 128 extra carbs a day. (Will be glad when this part is over its killing me).

Aside from the bloated feelings the run was actually a neat course....at about a mile and a half or so in you run up the stairs of the Fort and then back down the opposite side to do the remainder of the run on the beach and sand. I'm not sure if it was the steps or the sand running but the tendonitis in my left knee flared up again...there was just nothing good about my personal performance in that run so it was tough for me I was getting passed by people left and right and that typically doesn't happen. Nothing felt right it happens.

Transitions - One thing that never ceases to amaze me is how much transition times can play a role in your overall. In fact the difference between my time and several of the guys that were behind me could have been made up if they had had better transitions....what I don't understand is that this is usually the case I typically turn out shorter transitions than others in my AG .... What is everybody doing in there?! Baking a cake? Never underestimate the importance of being a minimalist especially at the sprint distance.

Overall - 1:18:45 8th of 36 in my age group 179 of 725ish overall:
Swim: 18:57
T1: 3:14
Bike: 26:25
T2: 1:19
Run 28:52

Post race we spent some time wandering around the fort and taking pictures.....this place really is beautiful can't believe I've never been here before. There is another race here on August 6th called Top Gun...I'll be there!

Grandparents left today

Well the time has come and my grandparents have gone. Now I'm REALLY on my own. I told my grandmother after my race that I had a terrible run and her food is killing me (I have no self discipline when it comes to my families home cooked meals) and that no one wants her to stay more than me and no one wants her to go more than me. Of course if I had the choice of them staying and just giving up triathlon completely I would always take my family first.

Enough rambling for now .....don't I ever shut up?!

Ahhhhh let the group rides begin.

Got to do the first group ride of the year today .... very very small group all of 4 of us but always nice to be out with someone besides myself. My understanding was the Monday pace was to be 18-22 ..... until Quadzilla shows up. 15 Minutes in and were at 24+ on a fairly windy day. I was ready to get dropped after a little over 10 miles but they brought it back to 21-23 rest of the way up a windy A1A which was far more pleasant. I was feeling pretty bad for Quadzilla because I figure that dude can hold 30 any time any condition and hanging out with me was probably ruining his training I appreciate they're sacrifice though cause guys like that make me faster.

This was to be video but these formats are such a pain...I'll figure it out.

Hard run NO PATT STRAP

I did probably my hardest series of intervals this morning since developing the ITBS problem in late 2004. My lungs haven't felt like that in running in a long time and it was great! I still had some aching in the knee but no particularly sharp pain. I found stopping to stretch my hamstrings may be helping considerably. I don't want to get too excited about all this but a few more runs like this and I may go back to my goal of trying to get a sub-20 5k off the bike this year. Id settle for a sub-20 5k any time but off the bike would be ideal. How am I going to accomplish this? I went ahead and posed this question on SlowTwitch and apparently this is going to come in the form of track intervals...we shall see.

Maddie comes back today for the rest of the week and not a moment too soon. I know millions of people experience these same things following divorce and everyone tells you "eh you'll get used to it" .... so far most people who tell me that are those that have never had to do it. I had been feeling a lot better since my ex moved out but its all starting to settle in I think and Im regressing a little bit. I still love her much as I hate to admit it which makes this whole thing even worse. I can't stand to see her like daggers in the heart so I try to ensure that Maddie exchanges go through the sitter. Im obviously the wear my heart on my sleeve type Im not much good at hiding things or acting as though I've moved on. This is my second consecutive 4+ year relationship that ended without me.....maybe I'm the common denominator ;)

My grandfather has been encouraging me to read Isaiah (Book of Isaiah). Not because its relevant to my social situation but because the book is so important on growth and understanding of prophecy etc. I find the book so difficult to follow mostly because I'm interested in the historic aspects of it. So I find Im constantly getting sidetracked by looking up Assyria, Sennacherib and Moab et al. Then Im constantly looking for commentary and historical background on events. I'm using two translations the Amplified Bible which I find easier to understand and an NIV Bible that provides enough seed in footnotes to get me started in the Wiki. What's the rush after all this is a LIFELONG process?!

This whole whining thing has got to stop and I gotta start being a lot more positive.

Here's something positive - Otis Redding

I think Otis Redding is arguably the greatest R&B Artists that ever lived. He's just one of those guys who could never make a bad song. I've been listening to him 2-3 times a week for years but when people ask me my favorite musicians etc. I typically say Elvis, Beatles, Luther, Eagles, Earth Wind & Fire, Al Green, Marving Gaye .....Can't Otis ever get no love?! I listen to him more than anybody! His most famous song is probably "Dock of the Bay" but hes got waaayyy more than that. How did pop-tarts like Britney et al ever get recording contracts when music like this already existed?! If you like classic soul like Sam Cooke or Wilson Pickett and you have the means pick up The Definitive Collection.... genius.

I DNFed in Clermont and all I got were these greasy hands ..... oh and a t-shirt.

My $275 DNF

Most my training, although I only plan to do sprints this year with a couple sprinkled International distances, meets or exceeds International distance training. Just training for sprint distances at this point in my short lived but consistent tri-life is just too short. I really enjoy the independent disciplines! This comes in handy when weekends like this come along.

This weekend was to be my first without Maddie as a direct result of the split. I had been off and on looking at doing the Tri-America race in Clermont but had pretty much decided against it until Saturday. Saturday I felt pretty much out of my mind with thoughts of what my baby is doing without me. I spent what felt like most my day in prayer. I've spent days without her before in fact she was just in Michigan with my family a week ago but this time its different. This time its not because she's going to see family but rather because her time is being taken from me. Not as a result of something I did but through the selfish actions of another and this was causing great bitterness in my heart. I pray so hard and ask that anyone that wishes to pray for me that they pray for peace and to teach me patience and FORGIVENESS.

I thought what better way to get my mind off these things than to head out to Clermont on Sunday and go do an International distance race on the same course I did my first Ironman back in October. Racing to me even though Im only a MOPer is a great adrenaline rush and a great way to burn off the steam. So I signed up. After signing up I felt great I could picture the bike and run course in my mind I've been on it so many times during training for the Great Floridian I know it like the back of my hand. That's not to say Im fast that's only to say its familiar and comfortable and has great nostalgic value for me.

Stupid Daylight Saving Time I had talked to my grandparents about it Saturday we had a long discussion about whether or not it should be permanent etc. As Im sure people do every time these changes come about. I STILL FORGOT TO CHANGE MY CLOCK! I was up at 4:15 got my Zone bar got some coffee. I figure I'll give the old folks an extra 15 minutes to sleep. I get the bike on the car get my gear in the car chase Jack down the street (I gotta get a fence) get my teeth brushed head for my email and about the time my computer boots I look at the clock and realize Im an hour off! We rush around like chickens with our heads cut off and get out the door and down 95 only to find there is a 6 car pile up on I-4 ON A SUNDAY MORNING at 5(now 6) AM!? Of course. Have to take an unfamiliar alternate route. Now Im really late. Finally get to within 12 miles of Clermont and going 71 in a 55 I get stopped its 7:47 ... I tell the cop "Im really sorry Im running late Im racing in Clermont at 8 this morning" Cop: "License and registration .... Yeah you're racing down this road TOO! I'll be right back." Now 7:57 $180 ticket. Mr. Sommer needs to start greasing the wheels of justice over there and get us some slack (Just kidding I know Im a terrible terrible law breaker ... $180 worth anyway). I finally get to the race pick up chip etc and a gentleman I will forever humbly refer to as the "Transition-Nazi" fights me on entry to transition because Im late. Rightly so, it's not his fault Im running late he has a job to do, the guy was yelling at me. I say rightly so but in the back of my mind Im thinking I paid $95 to be here you can let me rack my bike. Im sorry Im late its my fault Im an idiot. Please let me in. Set up a makeshift transition. Get my wetsuit on. Get over to the water and find out IM IN THE FOURTH WAVE. I had 15 minutes!

Swim Had a decent swim. Same familiar iodine colored water I couldn't help but keep thinking back to October. I know its lame but it felt great. It felt normal for a change. Im not sure what my time is in all the chaos I forgot to start my watch. I really dislike wetsuit swims I find they tire my shoulders. May look into sleeveless.

Bike Ahhhh the bike my favorite. Im cruising along feeling strong raring to go. I pass about 15+ people in the first 3 miles (just means Im a terrible swimmer). Down the road I haven't seen since the marathon in October where I consumed so much chicken broth. I swear just being on that road I could taste the broth. Up to Jalarmy I start the climb and POP. Chain snapped. D-N-F.

I asked a cop at the bottom of the hill to call race support to pick me up ....15 minutes and nobody. I ask him to call my grandmother .... wonderful cell phone technology straight to voice mail. So I start walking it back. I would have made Leonard Zinn and McGuyver proud I found some bread ties on the side of the road and linked my chain together. I couldn't believe it sort of worked! It was only good for a few hundred feet before they would break or let loose and I would have to repeat the whole procedure. Finally giving up I walked and thought I could get really frustrated and angry right now the way my weekend has gone but the best I can do is say Praise God. Praise God for my daughter. For giving me the opportunity to participate in these things and for showing me what it means to give praise and love in ALL THINGS. No matter the circumstance. No temper tantrums. No thrown pieces. Just a bad weekend that's all. I walked about 2 miles before I finally flagged down a Good Samaritan and got a ride back to waterfront park.

My foot This could be a little foreshadowing but I've been having a little pain off and on this week over the top of my left foot and today the thing is swollen...sprain maybe? I don't remember any particular moment I would have hurt it but somethin aint right.

St. Augustine is about a half hour north of my home. We went on Saturday. Its one of my favorite places to go wander around even if its touristy and becomes more and more a rip-off every time I go I still really enjoy the atmosphere and checking out the art etc.. I typically love taking pictures when Im there but there were just too many people and I was feeling uninspired will post what I got.