Some Triathlon. Some Divorce.
Sorry haven't bored yall with a giant diatribe in the past week but I've lacked the motivation mostly because I have so much to say and I'm afraid once I get going I'll never stop.....especially on some of my comments on "The Big D".
St. Augustine - Family Fitness Weekend
Race was pretty much par for the course for the Family Fitness Weekend Series this is the third race of theirs I've participated in and they're always well organized and well put together. This race turned out to be much closer to my house than I had originally thought.
Friday night I knew I would be tired Saturday and either dog the workout or drop it all together so I decided to go ahead and take my chances on doing the P90X legs and back workout KNOWING that this workout tends to be particularly taxing on my calves. Even though I would be racing Saturday. I figured eh I'll know as soon as I hit the water whether or not they'll give me problems.
Race day Had a mediocre swim I really need to make a commitment to make this better but I've only been doing 2 swims a week and really slacking in the workouts again just to keep my base with no concentration on speed in any way shape or form. 23 minutes on a half mile and probably my worst swim time to date. No cramps.
Transitioning to the bike I was fine I leave my shoes on the bike and put them on whilst moving soon as I pointed that toe to put it in the shoe.... CRAMP ... big one in my calf you know like that kind where your toes lock up and there is absolutely no relief. Almost crashed. I couldn't get my foot in that shoe fast enough to stretch that calf out. Once I got them flexed the cramps left and I had a pretty decent bike averaged about 23.5+ over 13 miles.
Transitioning to the run same thing bad cramps in both calves stopped to stretch them a few times just could not seem to get it worked out. No biggie. 22:35 on the 5k nice beach run.
My favorite part of the day?!..... Hot Dogs.... Ball Park, I think, I know people always crack jokes about 'oh do an hour and a half or so of exercise burn a thousand calories then eat 3,000' I don't care hot dogs are one of those things I never ever purchase or keep in the house but if someone is serving them up I'm there.
Disclaimer: This is not relevant to triathlon I warn ya because this is a triathlon blog however this is something I wanted to write down. Since triathletes are people too perhaps some of them have experienced divorce and may benefit from something I have to say...
I was trying to think this weekend if Maddie has ever missed one of my races before all of this divorce non-sense started and to my recollection she's been to every single one .... until this year. This year she has not been to a single one. Mostly because of bad timing but that is beside the point. My child and I are both being deprived these little moments because of the senseless actions of another who best I can tell still can not take personal responsibility for destroying the family I wanted so much for my child to have. To her she still believes she's done the right thing. For her. Despite this mockery she has made, marriage is not disposable, and I get so frustrated when people chastise me for being bitter and angry about it.
I went through a phase for almost two months where I was numb to the world where I was constantly looking inward and to the things I must have done wrong to cause all of this. Then I felt irrationally bitter and angry then one day I realized I did nothing to deserve this and the only thing this has to do with me is my choice in spouses. Knowing there are certainly things I could have done different. I certainly made big mistakes in our marriage for which I have taken responsibility and made correction to the best of my ability through Christ who strengthens me. However the one primarily responsible for this end is her..... and despite her laundry list of justifications to make this whole thing right in her head, and trust me she has a lot, none could possibly make what she has done 'okay'. I often wonder if on the day we were married she wasn't already thinking in the back of her mind ... eh nothing is forever when I get bored I can just leave.
I had a great conversation with a very close friend this weekend (stinkin hippie) and they made a great point to me .... this doesn't ever have to be "right" or "okay". I don't have to look back and say 'oh that was just a phase and its good that this happened' while I trust in the Lord to lead me towards his will I don't ever have to say that this is what's best for Madeleine and I know this because it never happened in the Bible. If God wanted people divorced because having separate homes is better for children surely that would have appeared in his word .... I checked. It doesn't. I have full confidence this was not some sort of divine oversight on God's part.
One of the books the secular world lauds for dealing with children and two homes, 'Mom's House - Dad's House', found its way into my home. Not out of my pocket. I refused to read it knowing basically the gist of its content. While doing some house cleaning this weekend I came across it and thought 'that thing is going in the garbage'. On my way to the trash I take a quick flip through it and on page 17 of probably 300 what do I find ... "12 Myths About Divorce" which would have been more appropriately named "12 Justifications for Divorce". This book is not about children this book is about making a person who is destroying a home feel all warm and fuzzy about it. You're reading the wrong book. And if you don't believe me you can ask Maddie she's got a little song she knows "The B-I-B-L-E yes thats the book for me..." Needless to say that's as far as I got ..... trash.
All of this has really pushed me into my studies of God's word and brought me closer to him but so many times I just want to scream "Why?!" And I know as a Christian we are almost expected to live beyond reproach. People will judge by my actions and my emotional anger and use any imperfections to say 'hypocrite' ..... all I can say is man is fallible. That means me too! And if you're looking for perfection turn to Christ because you won't find it here.
You see why I haven't taken the time to write? I've got so much emotion and so much to say and brevity is not my forte.
St. Augustine - Family Fitness Weekend
Race was pretty much par for the course for the Family Fitness Weekend Series this is the third race of theirs I've participated in and they're always well organized and well put together. This race turned out to be much closer to my house than I had originally thought.
Friday night I knew I would be tired Saturday and either dog the workout or drop it all together so I decided to go ahead and take my chances on doing the P90X legs and back workout KNOWING that this workout tends to be particularly taxing on my calves. Even though I would be racing Saturday. I figured eh I'll know as soon as I hit the water whether or not they'll give me problems.
Race day Had a mediocre swim I really need to make a commitment to make this better but I've only been doing 2 swims a week and really slacking in the workouts again just to keep my base with no concentration on speed in any way shape or form. 23 minutes on a half mile and probably my worst swim time to date. No cramps.
Transitioning to the bike I was fine I leave my shoes on the bike and put them on whilst moving soon as I pointed that toe to put it in the shoe.... CRAMP ... big one in my calf you know like that kind where your toes lock up and there is absolutely no relief. Almost crashed. I couldn't get my foot in that shoe fast enough to stretch that calf out. Once I got them flexed the cramps left and I had a pretty decent bike averaged about 23.5+ over 13 miles.
Transitioning to the run same thing bad cramps in both calves stopped to stretch them a few times just could not seem to get it worked out. No biggie. 22:35 on the 5k nice beach run.
My favorite part of the day?!..... Hot Dogs.... Ball Park, I think, I know people always crack jokes about 'oh do an hour and a half or so of exercise burn a thousand calories then eat 3,000' I don't care hot dogs are one of those things I never ever purchase or keep in the house but if someone is serving them up I'm there.
The Big D
Disclaimer: This is not relevant to triathlon I warn ya because this is a triathlon blog however this is something I wanted to write down. Since triathletes are people too perhaps some of them have experienced divorce and may benefit from something I have to say...
I was trying to think this weekend if Maddie has ever missed one of my races before all of this divorce non-sense started and to my recollection she's been to every single one .... until this year. This year she has not been to a single one. Mostly because of bad timing but that is beside the point. My child and I are both being deprived these little moments because of the senseless actions of another who best I can tell still can not take personal responsibility for destroying the family I wanted so much for my child to have. To her she still believes she's done the right thing. For her. Despite this mockery she has made, marriage is not disposable, and I get so frustrated when people chastise me for being bitter and angry about it.
I went through a phase for almost two months where I was numb to the world where I was constantly looking inward and to the things I must have done wrong to cause all of this. Then I felt irrationally bitter and angry then one day I realized I did nothing to deserve this and the only thing this has to do with me is my choice in spouses. Knowing there are certainly things I could have done different. I certainly made big mistakes in our marriage for which I have taken responsibility and made correction to the best of my ability through Christ who strengthens me. However the one primarily responsible for this end is her..... and despite her laundry list of justifications to make this whole thing right in her head, and trust me she has a lot, none could possibly make what she has done 'okay'. I often wonder if on the day we were married she wasn't already thinking in the back of her mind ... eh nothing is forever when I get bored I can just leave.
I had a great conversation with a very close friend this weekend (stinkin hippie) and they made a great point to me .... this doesn't ever have to be "right" or "okay". I don't have to look back and say 'oh that was just a phase and its good that this happened' while I trust in the Lord to lead me towards his will I don't ever have to say that this is what's best for Madeleine and I know this because it never happened in the Bible. If God wanted people divorced because having separate homes is better for children surely that would have appeared in his word .... I checked. It doesn't. I have full confidence this was not some sort of divine oversight on God's part.
One of the books the secular world lauds for dealing with children and two homes, 'Mom's House - Dad's House', found its way into my home. Not out of my pocket. I refused to read it knowing basically the gist of its content. While doing some house cleaning this weekend I came across it and thought 'that thing is going in the garbage'. On my way to the trash I take a quick flip through it and on page 17 of probably 300 what do I find ... "12 Myths About Divorce" which would have been more appropriately named "12 Justifications for Divorce". This book is not about children this book is about making a person who is destroying a home feel all warm and fuzzy about it. You're reading the wrong book. And if you don't believe me you can ask Maddie she's got a little song she knows "The B-I-B-L-E yes thats the book for me..." Needless to say that's as far as I got ..... trash.
All of this has really pushed me into my studies of God's word and brought me closer to him but so many times I just want to scream "Why?!" And I know as a Christian we are almost expected to live beyond reproach. People will judge by my actions and my emotional anger and use any imperfections to say 'hypocrite' ..... all I can say is man is fallible. That means me too! And if you're looking for perfection turn to Christ because you won't find it here.
You see why I haven't taken the time to write? I've got so much emotion and so much to say and brevity is not my forte.
posted by Migofast at
10:30 AM
1 Comments:
Felt the need to comment on THIS particular post. To give it merit.. acknowledge it. This is a time in your life not to be taken lightly or to walk it alone. Grab all the blessings that throw themselves at you...the trick is to able to recognize them. God is guarding & building & blessing you!
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